By Christopher Schuck
I just happened upon a flash fiction post this morning and decided to try my hand at it.
The basic details are: done every Friday, write a 100+/- word story based on a photo prompt, share your story and comment on others’.
Sounds fun!
Further details and how to get involved are on Madison Woods’ blog.
Here’s my attempt:
Just past the wraithy branches, I saw the horizon, at last. The melancholy white sky glowed brighter over the crest of the far hill, a hint of hope in this dark place. If only I could make it there, at least I would be out of the forest.
I dragged my tired and beaten body for miles, eyes on the distant skyline, which seemed to recede away from me faster than I could move. With the snap of every branch, my will seemed to break a little more . . .
Was I awake or dreaming? I pushed on further, only to fall asleep. I pushed on further still, only to wake up.
Maybe I was dead already . . .
How far had I actually gone? What day was it? At least I had the crested horizon to guide me.
Finally . . . I reached the hill. I crawled to the top.
Oh, no . . .
What do you think?
Welcome to the Fictioneers, Christopher! I hope you’ll be back every week now. It’s completely addictive!
I liked the way you mixed despair and hope in your story. My favourite line is “With the snap of every branch, my will seemed to break a little more”.
I wasn’t sure about the ending; it left me with a whole bunch of questions and I want to know what this poor guy has to face now! You lured me right into his story and left me hanging on a cliff-edge – I hope you’ll come back and let me down in a future story.
I’m over here http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/03/23/friday-fictioneers-the-crater/
Thanks! So glad you liked it. I’m sure I will return. I’m already hooked.
I know the ending leaves something to be desired. I think that’s the novel writer in me – I can’t help ending with a hook. I’m sure I’ll get better making a whole story in our 100 word limits with time.
There’s no shame in ending with a mystery. Or, at least, if there is I should crawl into a hole myself, as you’ll see if you look at my entry this week! One of the things I love about friday fiction is how much it leaves up to the reader to decide.
Good to know. I’ll definitely check out your story today. How could I not commit to a fun 100 word read?
That’s another addicting element to this whole flash fiction thing: a very high creativity/commitment ratio.
Yes, very glad you’ve joined us today and hope you return week after week to the same madness we all seem to enjoy enduring
I enjoyed your story. My fav phrase is when he questions if he’s dead or alive, as that is the crux of many of my own stories – what is real and what is not and HOW DO WE KNOW?
These small glimpses are great for capturing an essense to develop more later. That’s what I do with mine.
Welcome aboard!
Welcome, Christopher! I liked your use of allegory in this piece. Wish writers were doing more of this. Reminded me of Kafka and Dante. My piece is here: http://furiousfictions.com
Glad you joined, and excellent tale, with an oh so terrible ending. I’m guessing that over the hill was just more of the same? Well done!
Mine:
http://writetuit.wordpress.com/2012/03/24/flash-friday-kill-shot/#comment-546
….Another hill! I took a 7 mile hike in the mountains today so I know the feeling! Welcome to the group!
This was very good. I think it’s the first time I read flash fiction with a cliffhanger, and this one is quite good! It’s a story loose enough where the mysterious shock at the end leaves you thrilled and satisfied. It never felt like a cop-out or a cheap device.
I came across this post on Joe’s The Bard of Steel blog and I really like it. You’ve done a lot with a very low word count, it’s very impressive. I think yours is a blog that I’d like to follow!